Perfectionism Myth
As part of my coaching profession, I get to interact with coachees who come up with different problem statements. Some have relationships issues while others search for solutions for their professional problems. There is a sizeable lot who would like to work on self development issues like lack of focus, procrastination, result orientation, self esteem, confidence etc.
Couple of days back, a coachee wanted to explore on how to remain calm in all situations and not give into anger. He further explained that once anger sets in, it reduces his creativity, his ability to focus which in turn reduces productivity. A really important issue to address, but difficult to get answers to. As we progressed through the conversation, I asked the coachee
Me: What makes you angry?
Coachee: Non acceptance to accept the situation as is
Coach: What else?
Coachee: Seeking perfectionism in all the work that I do. If is not perfect (or as perceived by the coachee), all hell breaks loose. Sometimes I over engineer things to make it perfect. This results in a lot of time being invested to making it perfect leading to delay in deliverables. That in turn makes me angry.
After the session was over, I pondered why most of us (including me) are bitten by the “Perfectionist” bug .
Perfection is defined as the action or process of improving something until it is faultless. We all expect to reach this state. You may argue what is wrong in chasing perfection. Well, absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact it allows us to excel; come with a better version of something.
But many a times, perfection leads us to believe that if we do things perfectly and we look perfect in the eyes of others, we can avoid the pain of guilt, criticism from others people and to a certain extent shame as well. We try to seek approval or validation from others.
It is this very belief that turns into a problem, preventing us from taking action. The Perfectionist syndrome instills fear in our mind and does not give us the right to make mistakes and experiment, fearing that we would be branded as “Failures”. Who would love have the FAILURE tag? Absolutely, no one. Thus under the garb of perfectionism, we do not do what is expected of us.
Perfectionism prevents us from achieving what we want. This leads to lower self esteem, loss of confidence, anxiety, stress etc. and in turn opportunities being lost. Perfectionism is more about perception as to what others will think of me rather than any internal motivation.
Perfectionism is a very subjective concept. Perfect work from your point of view can be imperfect from the points of view of others. So it is best that we stop chasing perfectionism and always be a work in progress. Remember Version 1 of anything is always better than Version 0. So start acting and start sharing. Let you not give in to this Perfection Myth.
